


First world problems

by Jeageractive



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Watch me butcher 'em
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2375816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeageractive/pseuds/Jeageractive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pet name rehearsals because Kaneki and Hide are single losers who just can't stop pretending that females are so sensual in their eyes.</p><p>They aren't, Kaneki had accepted that long ago when one nearly devoured him and Hide somehow turned out to be really, really fucking gorgeous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First world problems

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god.
> 
> I think I ship them. I'm writing this and I'm still uncertain XD Anywho, I've only watch like, seven Tokyo Ghoul episodes, so it's bound to be pretty shitty.

"Babe is overrated."

"Girls seem to dig it." Kaneki responded with a shrug, lifting his eyes a bit from his book.

"Kaneki, the only thing that'll be digging when you call Touka babe is like, her heel in your face." Hide gave him a look, shrugging in a put down manner.

"Girls."

"Girls." The blond sighed, shoulders slumping."They're like cake when your mom decides to count your calories."

"Geez, Hide. Since when do moms count calories other than their own?"

He snickered a bit."Well that's true."

Kaneki's attention seeped back into his book, and Hide gave the object a dismayed gaze. He leaned over Kaneki to peek at the small print book, blinking at it for a small second before giving up.

He fell back against the couch with an annoyed sigh, slid his headphones up in place and bobbed along to his music. The college life weekends, of one who had nothing better to do than read a book in the stuffiness of his dorm while the other sat there and listened to dumb shit to pass time.

"Hide." He mumbled, and when he didn't get a response, nudged his ribs with his toes.

"Ah?" He plucked them off and gave the brunet a look.

He looked up in thought for a second."What if we use something more classy?"

The blond raised his eyebrows, pulled on a falsely sweet smirk, and blinked rapidly at his friend."Ken, darling." He squeaked, and earned a light smack with the book he was wielding and a chuckle.

Kaneki was telling himself he wouldn't like it. He wouldn't. Gross.

But he does. Especially when combined with that unbelievable smile, the way his eyes would light up and crinkle, the warmth that flowed right into his irises.

He's been trying to convince himself for a while that it was nothing but his hunger making him delusional, the thought of tasting him what's morphing the cravings to an illusion of affection.

Kaneki should get a medal for contradicting himself.

This was awkward, and his book was a haven to run off to. "Ken-chan." Hide said in a sing song tease, pulling his book down from his face."I lost you there for a second. You alright?"

A cold hand suddenly pressed against his forehead."Looking a bit feverish."

"What're you talking about?" Hide was leaning too close, from here he could see the small flecks of gold in his eyes and a barely noticeable, small scatter of freckles over his nose. He pushed him away playfully, getting off of the couch.

"Want coffee?"

"Why not, darling."

"Stop it."

"Hm. Sweetheart? I think it falls under the classy category."

"Hide."

"Classy just isn't your type." a sigh."How about my personal hentai website or something."

"That's too creative."

"Thank you."

A pause, and Kaneki thought he'd given up."Senor puss puss."

He couldn't help a fit of snickers."What'd you take this morning?"

"I found it. I found it. The male snare."

"You on the internet?"

"'Course I am."

"Ah."

"Cuntkins. This one's a bit risky. Squish mitten?"

"Hide, you're charming." Kaneki said as he came back with two cups, making sure to keep note of his."I'm charmed. Look at my charmed face."

Hide grinned _that_ grin again. Kaneki was severely charmed.

And screwed.

"There's something about your coffee, baby cakes." he drones, Kaneki gives him a glance out of the corner of his eye, and decides it's a battle, then. He was good with vocab battles.

"It's probably just you, baby doll."

"Aw, pickllllle."

"I think it's your smile, honey boo boo. It is simply...captivating."

"I feel captivating." Hide says with a nod, and Kaneki just ducks his head and laughs because what were they even doing.

"I think we're hopeless." The blond finally declares, throwing a hand over the back of the couch.

"I don't think females are our thing, anyway." Kaneki says out of nowhere, and practically recoils when Hide gives him a look."I meant. Uh. Like, we're not...really much of...female charmers?"

"Ditto." He drawls, lazily grinning."But we're great at charming each other."

Kaneki blinks, blushes a bit, and tries to play it off by smiling a little giving Hide's chin a push with his index finger and a squinty smile."I'm fine with that." He croons, and he's suddenly pushed back with Hide not so innocently on him.

"So am I."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't look at me. They're so OOCCCOOOCCC like how do I even *cries*


End file.
